Submission... Is that REALLY the solution??

In one of my first posts "Return to Faith" I talk about submission in marriage. I left it very short and kind of open for interpretation as it related to me personally.... I did this because I realize it is a touchy subject with so many differing opinions! It was a touchy subject for me at one time too!! But once I put the word out there... that submission saved my marriage... I had every intention of returning to the subject. SO here we go!! First, let's look again (starting at the beginning this time and taking it a little further) at the passage in the bible about submission.. and then take it from there. :)

Ephesians 5:21-33
21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22 Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head to the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church- 30 for we are members of his body.  31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery- but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

What is the definition of submission as used in this passage?
I looked it up and saw many different meanings, then came upon this one ... I think this one comes as close as you can to defining what it means in the passage above.

Submission- yielding and obedient attitude, cooperation and support of another person

YEP, there is that word obedient!! That is the word - I think- that we trip over and gasp at!
Look at the rest of the words -yielding, cooperation, support- they are more like team words, right? Those words basically mean you should respect one another. Most of us know that if there is no respect in a marriage, then the marriage is not working!

As adults, the word obedient has left the building, right?
Wrong!! If you are a Christian and living like one, then you know that obedience is something we do everyday. We have to be obedient to God and His word.

Here is where I was messing things up! I refused to be obedient!! I refused to be obedient to God and certainly to my husband. Maybe I didn't consciously make a decision to be disobedient, but that is exactly what I was doing. When I made the decision to give my marriage problems to God.. and this is the first scripture he pointed me to... I knew I had a major change coming! I chose to OBEY GOD first... and by doing that I HAD to respect my husband. Not everything my husband says is 100% correct (he will probably try to correct me on that!) but I had to give him enough respect to try things his way. He is the head of our home, marriage, and family. It turns out, I don't even want that role although I've been trying my best to play that role for years now. As a wife, mother, and woman there are SO MANY important jobs for me... I was ignoring those to try to take over where my husband was FULLY capable of carrying his own. I was so intent that I would be in charge, I neglected the areas where I actually WAS in charge. I am telling you... when I finally gave up my rebellion, I felt a weight lift and shift over to my husband ... he gladly took it and I gave him the respect he deserved for taking it... and he gave me love for finally giving him a chance. And that is where we are now... I'm not going to say we will never have another problem... or even that we won't have a power struggle now and then. But, I know that he listens to me now and he knows that I am letting him make the final call on decisons. We are being respectful to each other and he does take into consideration what I think, feel and say. You can see why before this change, there was total chaos in my marriage. I was trying to be Mom and DAD... I was trying to be husband and wife... I was trying to play God in my life and for my family... shamefully, shamefully... I admit.

Let me tell you where the road to disobedience leads:
ME, ME, ME... disobedience is selfish
When there is no submission, there are no Laws that apply to you!, your morals will start to shrink and disappear, you become a bad example to your children and the people around you.

Let's try this...
Next time there is a conflict: Say to yourself US, US, US... not ME, ME, ME
TRY... even just one time... to put the other person first. Try to trust God and not yourself to see you through the next battle. I believe a miracle will happen... If nothing but your own heart and bad habits change, that is an EXCELLENT accomplishment.
Just try it, I dare you!!!

Swallow your pride, let God wash it away... it will be easier than you think it will be if your heart is in the right place


Here is a great verse to repeat to yourself when in doubt about how to handle a situation:

Matthew 7:12 
So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

THIS SUMS UP THE LAW AND THE PROPHETS!!!!... pretty sure that means that this is SUPER IMPORTANT ;)

Love,
Andrea