Mom, Don't Say Hate!

 Pictured is my three year old: Summer Heart

"Mom, don't say hate" whispered my three year old to me recently. What did I say to cause this remark? I can't remember exactly, but probably something like this:


I hate to wash dishes
I hate to sweep
I hate these clothes
I hate we missed that event


... but really, my three year old made that remark because I, the same Mom that has probably recently said all of those statements above, told her that hate is a bad word. I have taught each of my children that hate is not to be used as a way to describe your feelings toward someone or even something. I mean after all, what I really meant to say when I made those statements above was ... I really don't like to wash dishes but I am really thankful that I have dishes to wash and a dishwasher to wash them in and sweeping isn't my favorite chore but I sure am glad that I have these nice floors under my feet everyday. My clothes may not fit exactly like I want but I have nice things to wear and for that I should be thankful. And, yes we missed going to that event because we had a conflict with an activity with one of my children or decided on family time instead.... so we made that choice and we are blessed to have the freedom to make these choices about our time and our lives.

Ephesians 4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

I need to strive to take the word hate out of my vocabulary. I need to word things in a way that will tell my children and everyone else around me how I truly feel and that sometimes when I say something I really mean the opposite. I don't hate those things... I love those things and truth be told, I am very thankful for those things.  Sometimes I don't stop and think how my words change the minds and attitude of those around me.

The definition of hate is- an intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury.

When hate is directed towards a person, we have a entirely new set of problems. If we feel hate towards someone, we need to dig deeper and find the real feelings we have for them. Are we scared of them or the consequences that their lifestyle and choices might have on our lives? Are we angry with them for words they have said or something they have done? Have we been physically or emotionally abused by them? It is likely that you and I will say yes to one of these things when we feel hatred toward someone.

What does the bible say about hate?

1 John 4:20
If anyone says "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar.

Proverbs 10:12
Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. 

Matthew 5:43-45
You have heard that it was said, "Love your neighbor and hate your enemy." But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and unrighteous. 

In 1 John 4:20, it tells us that we cannot love God if we hate a person. So if we know that we really do love God,  maybe it is time to dig deeper... we need to try to find out if that is really hate we feel or if that is another emotion. The bible gives us instructions on how to deal with these bad feelings towards other people in Matthew 5:43-45. We must love those who cause us fear, anger or a sense of injury. This is how we become sons of our Father in heaven. God can bring to light the bad and the good in each and every situation. We have the opportunity in each situation to be the light of God and to shine that light so others can see the true way to happiness is by doing the opposite of hate. The truth is God loves you, me, the liar and the murderer. He loves us even when we hate others. But, we cannot be the light of God with hate in our heart. We can not truly love God if we hate another person.

I want to truly love God, I want all the hate in my heart to disappear.

I taught my children not to say the word hate because I know that hate is the opposite of love. God is love and we all know what the opposite of God is... so hate is not a word I like to hear come out of the innocent mouths of my precious children. It almost hurts my heart to hear that word come from them!!!

We are all God's children... I am pretty sure how I feel when it comes to my children and the word or feeling of hate, is similar to how He feels when we choose to hate.

Obviously, I need to heed my own teaching because my youngest has decided she will point out each time I go against it. Thank God for her and the lessons I am taught from little, innocent and curious ears.

It's time to let go of hate and to take hold of love. Let it go in prayer and receive God's Love to fill the space it left. Be the light God wants you to be and thank God for this gift and all these blessings.

Love,
Andrea