Mercy and grace showed up in hell!

Occult practices are apart of our world. It seems that mainstream movies and books focus on the devil and fear of demons, while an idea is promoted that the Holy Spirit of God, and His angels of light, are either powerless against the devil, out of fashion for today's modern culture, or not even mentioned, with little or no attention given to His right arms--His mighty angels! 

This trend is disturbing to me. It breeds an idea that evil is scary and intriguing. But there is only One that we are to fear, and that is God. A holy reverence for our Maker realizing that He has the power to save our souls! And wants to save our souls so that we can live life to its fullest and live in eternity with Him.

Which do you have a greater fear of--the devil or God?

God has the ability to use what was meant for evil for good, as one biblical author said "God works in all things, And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:27,28.

 But the focus has to be on God and His powers for true deliverance. The things that we fear, the spirit of what we fear, must come under the subjection of God.  Whatever we feed grows! Whatever we feed the most, dominates.

Their is only One God. One denominator that has the ability to work in all things.

God is power!  Through scripture we know that His power can be administered by His very real angels of lights. We must testify of the power of God, or the world will remain in darkness.

It should bring us comfort to know that His angels are encamped around those who fear him, and he delivers them (Psalm 34:7).

We must guard ourselves against false perceptions that may root in our hearts that says science is sanity, and only proven evidence should be deemed worthy of attention. Science is evolving and may one day catch up with God's angels of light, on the subatomic level, but more than likely not because Hebrews 11:1 states that "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." So the substance of faith, or the proof that God exists, or the materialization of God and His angels, the "show me" factor should remain a mystery, for we don't hope for things seen, we hope for things not seen. 

And when God chooses to appear those of us who were confident in what we hoped for won't be surprised because we were the enlightened ones all along! Beloved, take confidence in that!

We must guard our senses, for what we allow in our hearts through our eyes and ears makes its way to our heart.  The eye is the lamp of the body. When our eyes are healthy, our whole body also is full of light. But if  they are unhealthy, by watching and listening to junk then our body also is full of darkness. (Luke 11:34)

Have you heard the claim that the  Word of God is outdated? "Enlightened people" have grumbled that for centuries now, but think about it-- presently the Bible is the number one most read book in the entire world, traveling across time, eras and countless cultures to move on the hearts of men.  And today, men are still getting saved! (Hebrews 4:12)

That's not passé'--that's POWER! 

Remember that GREATER is he that is in you, than he that is in the world! 1 John 4:4

  "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper that any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."
Hebrews 4:12

Click this link to hear an Ex Satan Worshipper Testify

(Ex Satan Worshipper John Ramirez Testimony)

Praying for you and for me! Love, Ashley

Lace up, shape up and shine!

I have to say that over these past three days that my walking partners have been absolutely motivating to me! It had gotten to the point that my joints were stiffening up! "OH LORT," I thought. " I am not about to sit down and stop now! I gotta get going!"

So I made up my mind to move--to stretch out and warm up those stiff muscles! To get out of my comfort zone. In a way, to stretch out past my own self-confining limitations. There's still a lot of stuff that I need and want to do. Can't get it done by idling sitting, or standing by, now can I?

I had different walking partners this week, but we all shared a common bond--a love for Christ! We love the Lord. And so we are sisters.

Last night as we walked from my house to the walking trail, the thought came to me--amazing that one could come considering the amount of oxygen being diverted to my lungs as I hassled for the next precious gasp of air (smh)-- but the thought was that these women were exceptional women in their own way, and I was blessed to be journeying with them. Each one was a shining example of how different aspects of my own life could be improved!

Last night there was a group of us gals walking. We met at my house to walk to a walking trail less than a mile from my house. There was a 78 year old lady who I teamed up with because, you know, I figured we could lag behind the three Speedy Gonzales' who had fire emitting from their tennis shoes!

We did lag behind, but soon I was somewhat shamed. Here she was out, giving it her all, and adamant about pressing on! I suggested we turn around early in our trek, but she was steadfast. She said we could rest when we reached the walking trail. Once we reached the trial, the other three championed me to jog and met up with them, as Ms. Faye rested. The ladies that championed me on--a 44 year old chic, who, at her age, decided to go back to school to get her nurse practitioner’s license, what tenacity; a 58 year old woman who battled cancer, won and is recovering from a very recent surgery, but was scooting it!  She would have to raise her arm as she scuttled to relieve the pressure, but it looked like she was praising the Lord to me, and she truly was with every step she made, what drive.  Also in our pavement pounding posse' was a 44 year old single lady who is determined to raise her kids standing on the principles of Christ, without compromise in today's world, what strength!  And of course, there is the real champion, the  78 year old spiritual spit fire that rested but for a moment at that track, then made a round, before heading back to my house while we girls made a few more rounds.  What unfaltering persistent resolution! That lady didn't fear the walk in the dark alone at all!

Without question, if you were to ask where their tenacity, drive, strength and resolution, where those qualities come from, they would be quick to say from a foundation built on the love of Christ and his teachings. It would come from a faith built on the enduring word of God and the promises that come with His word.

Success comes in different shapes and forms for different people. My success hinges inside the Bible, how often I open and close it to meditate on His words; my success lies in my heart- felt prayer life, which is equally important-- for where my heart is, my mind will follow, and then my actions. But my success also is in the people that I look at as examples of how to do this thing that we call life!  And God has blessed me with some exceptional ones.

Oh, they would deflect their role, as they have had their own struggles, but they unassumingly reflect Christ in their walk, and that is undeniable! I so want my own walk to reflect His Spirit in everything that I do. So that is why I am pressing on.

And I encourage you to lace up and keep moving toward the goal! You have an awesome prize that is waiting for you.

"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. 25Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things." 1 Corinthians 9:24,25

Praying for you and for me! Ashley

Watch for GOD!

This morning I was searching for hair bows for my 4-year-old daughter ...who was in tears because she did not want to go to school… BUT concerned all the while that her hair was just so, with the perfect bows for her two perfect pigtails (we girls feel better in any situation when we know our hair looks great). While searching for  two matching bows inside a bucket of bows, barrettes and other items for little girls hair, I found this bracelet.

I am not sure where the bracelet came from… I am thinking a halloween treat since it is purple and orange but I cannot be sure. But when I found it, I was desperately trying to think of ways and words to comfort my daughter who is still, after week 3 of school, so uncomforted by the absence of my presence during the school day. I wanted the bracelet to say “God is Watching” or “God is with you” so I could put it in her book bag as a reminder and for comfort (it was too big for her to wear on her tiny wrist)… but instead, it said “Watch for God”, so I slid it on my own arm and finished putting the matching bows in my sweet little girls adorable pigtails. A glance in the mirror, and she perked up a bit!

Back at home, after the dramatic dropping off of my sad 4-year-old, I start reading the book of Romans in the Bible. I have been studying the Apostle Paul’s books and letters recently and this is the next book on my list of books by him to study (I skipped around, read the short ones first..bible order not chronologically... and now I am going back to his ever important first one). When I got to verse 20 in chapter 1 I read this:
For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities- His eternal power and divine nature- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
I stopped reading at the end of chapter 1, realizing that this was going to not be the one-day read in the way I proudly conquered Paul’s letters. After reading Chapter 1, I just needed to stop and ponder. The chapter ends with verse 32 but my attention was drawn back to verse 20. I looked at the bracelet that I had slipped on my writst earlier and said… uh hu, yep, okay… there it is!

In the amazing way it always works, God uses what seems pretty much meaningless or confusing and connects the dots to send us messages when we read His word.
Sometimes I get so caught up in my day-to-day routine with my children and my life that I forget to look around and see that God is not invisible! I don’t need to rearrange a message on a bracelet to fit my situation but to be reminded to stop take a breath and look around at the evidence of his existence surrounding me. Look at the things of this world that he has made. I am reminded that there are no excuses for his eternal and divine nature to not be clearly seen by me… that these things have been surrounding us since creation.

And in that verse and that message on this bracelet truly is the message that I needed to comfort my child, myself and even you today. Without rearranging the words… READ: Watch for God… and you will find that the message is that he surrounds you with His comfort, His grace and His love. All you have to do is look around… God is Watching, God is with you… it says all of these things and much more.

Watch for God
reading Romans & connecting the dots

love,
Andrea

The hustle and flow of slavery

It's not just an international problem, but it is a problem that plagues the United States. It's an epidemic that exists in front of us in plain sight, but many people don't see its dark side. It's hidden from our conscience, the reality of this issue, but that's the hustle and flow of human trafficking-- it has lulled and lured our country into placating this perversion. The truth of the issue is this--sex trafficking exploits our own women and children. 

In 2011 statistics show that over 80% of confirmed cases of human trafficking in our country were Americans. When you first think of the term human trafficking, images of immigrants being smuggled for use in the sex industry may have come to mind ,  but the reality is that our own people are enslaved.

 Human trafficking is a cruel work load that no one should endure. 

January is Human Trafficking Awareness Month but everyday a place of grace should be given to the victims of sex trafficking.  It is a complex issue that has one solution -- hope. 

 Sex traffickers prey on vulnerable women and children who are looking for hope, acceptance, love and compassion. The stories of these victims to the trade are diverse, but all have the same flow; in some shape or form these people were exploited.  A common cruel thread through each storyline is that traffickers find the ones who are vulnerable.
 Like the vulnerable child who has been either physically or sexually abused in their home. These troubled ones come to believe that abuse is love. And traffickers feed on that. They  reach them through social media, or other ways,  offering a false love. Feeling unwanted and unsafe, the child runs away to this false love, only to be groomed for prostitution. A trade that captures many of them for years.

All the child or teen ever  wanted was ---love. 

Circumstances for adults who are captured by human traffickers are similar-- lurking in that adults back story is abuse. So then, abuse is heaped on abuse. 

 Some may ask or wonder why don't they leave their situation? Several reasons.  Many are locked behind closed doors. Others are closely monitored and threatened with violence. They are beaten, raped, or their loved ones threatened. Victims are shamed--humiliated by their activities,  and so many stay in it. They have no self worth left. And though they are forced into it, they become brainwashed into believing they deserve it.
Also, victims have a dependency on their pimp for survival. Even an abused dog not on a chain will stay for loyalty and food.

Sometimes victims don't  know their surroundings and are afraid to run. Typically, victims don't trust people and have a general sense of hopelessness. Why should they run? What else is out there? 

But there is hope. 

And that hope can come from an awareness, instead of a judgment that renders a prostitute worthless. This awareness seeks out troubled youth who may be at risk and intervenes. This hope comes through supporting rescues like the WellHouse in Birmingham that reaches out to victims of human trafficking. 

Human trafficking is in plain sight. It is ugly, but it has to be recognized for what it is and hope given to end its abuse. 

Some ways to help.
There are practical guides online that can explain how to start projects, events or campaigns to end human trafficking. 

Another way is to support missions that offer hope. The WellHouse in Birmingham is a faith based non profit group that is a shelter for victims of human trafficking. One of the few in the U.S., this organization gives shelter, food, clothing,  counseling, education and teaches job skills to women. You can find them on Facebook and  reached online at www.the-WellHouse.org.

Talking about the issue is bringing awareness to the issue. It is taking responsibility for the issue in our "own" backyard. According to Nita Belles, author of In Our Backyard, the following red flags can help identify victims:

A person is not free to come and go as they please; they are under 18 and giving sex acts; has a pimp or manager; is unpaid or paid very little or through tips; works long and or unusual hours; owes a large debt and can't pay it off; was recruited through false promises; high security measure in the work or living conditions like opaque windows or boarded up windows, bars on windows, barbed wire, security cameras, etc. Their behavior is fearful, anxious, depressed, submissive, tense and exhibit unusual fearful behavior after bringing up law enforcement. The person lacks health care, appears malnourished, signs of physical and or sexual abuse, physical restraint, or torture are present. The person may have few possessions, and not in control of their I.D. or documents, no financial records or bank account. The person is not allowed to speak for themselves and a third party may insist on translating. The person claims to be just visiting the area and can't clarify where they are staying or their address. They have a lack of knowledge of their whereabouts or the city they are in. They may have numerous inconsistencies in their story. (source www.the-wellhouse.org)

January is Human Trafficking Awareness Month, but everyday a place of grace is needed for the victims of sex trafficking. Will you give it? 

To report suspected human trafficking call 1-866-347-2423. To get help from the National Human Trafficking Resource Center call 1-88-373-7888 or text HELP or INFO to BeFree (233733).

To report suspected human trafficking:

The Power of HIS NAME!!!

Philippians 2:10-11
So that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Dear Friends,

I can’t let another week go by without writing something.

Lately all I have wanted to do is read and study, read and study, and then later read and study… and learn it and let it sink in and then use it.

But, I guess I am not fully using it if I don’t tell somebody!!

I am talking about the Bible… God’s word, His message to us all.

How important it is that we take his word, let it sink into our brains, bodies and especially our hearts so that when we are asked to face the world, we have a firm foundation to stand on.

I think right now, that foundation is forming in me and around me and I want it to flow through me… to you, so that you may also experience this. It is exciting and awesome when you realize how real God is and how perfect Jesus is and how much He loves us.

I just can’t stop thinking about it.

So, I just wanted to write a post today to especially thank God for the power of His Name. There are so many examples in the bible where His name is used as a powerful weapon, a source of hope, a healing device and a Holy place to go when you need to unload your burdens.

Psalms 61:8
So will I ever sing praises to your name, as I perform my vows day after day.

If I can sing praise for only one thing today it is that God told us His name so we could use it to praise and to pray. I hope we can all comprehend the power in it for us believers. I hope and pray we have the faith to use it as he wants us to.

Just letting the name Jesus come from your mouth should be a Sacred and Holy moment with so much emotion and feeling and love behind it that people will hear that name coming from you and immediately want to know more about Him.

All my praise to Jesus… the Healer, the Savior, the King.

Proverbs 83:18
The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe.

Love you all,
Andrea

More bible verses to read about the power of His Name:
Matthew 6:9
Exodus 20:7
Exodus 3:13-15
Jeremiah 16:21
Judges 13:18
Acts 4:12
Isaiah 7:14
Proverbs 30:4
Psalm 83:18
Psalm 68:4
Psalm 45:17
Psalm 5:11
Matthew 1:21
John 14:14
Acts 2:38
Romans 10:13
Mark 16:17
Acts 8:12

The Journey: My Life in 2015

My Miraculous 2015

Yesterday: I woke up in the morning not feeling like doing my bible study. It happens from time to time. I usually hop out of bed excited for this quiet and alone time before everyone else gets awake and moving and demanding this and that from me. I usually love my time with God.. but from time to time I don’t feel like doing it especially when there are things happening that day that I need to prepare for.  But I did it anyway, and what a blessing I received.

As I read through my devotionals and started to study some books of the bible, this entire past year came to my mind. It was a year full of miracles for me. A massive change has been made in my life, that maybe seemed small day by day…. but looking back on the year, I see how big it really was. I can see how God has helped me work through some things, some big things… how He answered so many prayers of mine and how my attitude and mind has changed about so many things in one short year.

If you read no further than this… please hear me when I say: submission to God, obedience to God, and reading the bible has completely changed my life. If you want to know more, read further…. but if you want to experience this for yourself, do those three things.

John 10:27  My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.

Mid-December 2014: I walked through my kitchen distraught, disappointed, ready to give up on certain areas of my life. These problems seemed impossible, to big and to complicated to repair. I stopped by the kitchen table and placed my hands palm down on that table and hung my head and prayed. “God, I can do NOT ONE THING to fix this… this might be unfixable… I give it to you… in fact, I give everything to you… I am yours… use me, guide me… I am tired of trying to do this by myself… I have no idea what I am doing.” This prayer came from the sincerest and most broken part of my heart. There were things I tried my whole life to cover up and stitch together in my heart… just to find that my stitches don’t hold and my cover is not sufficient. I was tired and I was ready to let go of the grip I had on trying to maneuver and control situations… I couldn’t and would’t keep fighting. Before I could lift my head I literally heard the words “shut up”. “Don’t speak, except for when absolutely necessary, until I say it is okay.” I laughed out loud… again, I literally laughed out loud! Did God just tell me to shut up? Yes, I do believe he did… and I obeyed. Except this "shut up" wasn’t angry, it was loving and it was a relief… It meant I didn’t have to come up with anymore arguments about why I was right and why anyone else with an opinion was wrong. It gave God a chance to speak to me and work on my heart more than ever before. It wasn’t easy… there were times when I wanted to fight with words… I knew I could… I have only practiced this skill my entire life…. but I didn’t and I changed and I let God speak for me so many times…. and the outcome was clearly a miracle. It wasn’t very long and I was able to start speaking again and when I did, I spoke from a different place in my heart… my thoughts and words were not even close to perfection… but they were healed in a way… and they would continue to heal throughout the year. {please understand that I didn’t stop speaking entirely… more that I was non confrontational on certain subjects and did not fight back when angry words were spoken to me …. by anyone… when normally I would have been quick to defend myself, I became defenseless on my own ….it’s called submission ;) and I had a lot to learn. }

January 2015: I began a blog… this blog… my outlet to speak and my hopeful witness to God and how He can change things when we submit. I also started a book study by Kay Arthur on character changing using the book of Matthew and more specifically the beatitudes and Jesus’ sermon on the mount. The book by Kay “Lord, only you can change me” (very appropriately titled), began to help me allow God to change my character… and He certainly did that very thing. The Bible is enough, don’t get me wrong… but my learning that I wasn’t as smart as I thought by going more in depth with the words in Matthew really changed my perspective. You could find me in tears after almost every day of study. Realizing that my whole life, I was selfishly trying to be a “good person” but behind that was a blank stare and a big “WHY” written on my heart that kept leading me back to the same old things and the same old ways. The inner struggle was real.. and this study tore my heart apart and then started to put it back together again the way that God has always intended it to be.

May 2015: My oldest son graduated and I went though the motions with him with a heavy heart. I felt like the part of his life with me having any influence was over. I wondered constantly if I did a good job as a parent. My heart broke thinking about all the heart break he has endured though his life… he has experienced the death of so many people close to him throughout his life… more than I think anyone should have to endure. He is a wonderful child and always has been, he taught me so many things…  but I wondered if I taught him enough. But as I watched him throughout his senior year… I know that there is a great amount of love in his heart. He is a big brother to 4 kids (3 of which are mine) and I know he would go to battle for any of them in a heart beat… God has surely loved and protected him. He has something important to do with his life and he knows that and so do I… and now he embarks on his own journey to find his own way… it is a bumpy road, but I fully believe in this son of mine. And while he learns about life, he continues to teach me. I can’t look at my other 3 kids the same way now after seeing my precious oldest becoming a man and realizing how fast this happens…. I kiss my little girls chubby cheeks a bit more often and watch my 12 year old live his life with a beautiful heart and a loving soul and remember to be thankful… my 4, well, they are exactly perfect for me in every way. My greatest gift on this earth and quite possibly much more happiness than I deserve, my 4 children with Drew as the beginning of my life as Mom.

July 2015: There was a memorial service for my sister who passed away due to a tragic accident 13 years ago. She was involved in so many things during her short life… this, apparently, has left a lasting legacy at the college she attended and in the hearts of so many. Many of the girls that knew her and some who have just heard her story came forward during the memorial to talk about her influence on their lives. It was an emotional celebration of a beautiful life cut short. I know that God has his reasons for every season… but we miss her… she was loved by so many. This is a story to tell all on it’s own one day… but for now, I can say that there is a scholarship in place in her name and that her legacy and her eagerness to help others is still alive. And she is frequently thought of by so many people and considered to this day, a blessing to us all. So we thank God for the time she was here…  she was a major influence on me and I am thankful for this moment I had to be proud of her achievements and the person she was during this memorial. It meant so much to my entire family so, thank you again to those involved in this.

August 2015: I reunited with my Dad’s family. To make a very long story short (I wrote about this briefly in a previous blog), my Dad abandoned us when I was 11 years old… he dropped us off at my maternal Grandparents home in Butler only to come back once for a very short period throughout the rest of my childhood. We kind-of lost touch with that side of our family after the death of my paternal Grandparents. It has been many, many years since I have laid eyes on my precious and beautiful Aunt Jo. I thought about her often over the years… knew she lived not very far away… but was scared to reach out. Then, my family and I were at an event out of town when I saw a man that looked so familiar but I could not for the life of me place him to a name. I turned to my husband to ask if we knew him and it suddenly clicked!! I said to my husband… "I think that is my first cousin!!!" I could barely stop starring at him and another cousin that was there as I saw my own brother, my sister, myself and my Dad in their faces… this is MY family. But they don’t know me. I sat for a long time.. I was near where they were sitting… I tried to find the courage to go and speak to them and tell them who I was. It took a full hour and encouragement from my husband and even my mom (she wasn’t there but I called her to ask advice- as usual) I finally went over there and told them who I was… they greeted me with love, hugs, phone number exchanges, and an invitation to a family event coming up soon. We went to that family event and I got to see and hug my beautiful Aunt Jo and meet most of my first cousins and their kids and families. I got to listen to them talk and was amazed by them and the familiarity in their faces. They are beautiful, kind, loving and accepting… and I am blessed. This was and is an event I will never, ever in my life forget. The part of me that seemed so distant and forgotten… suddenly was present and it was good. I know that only God could have made these events all fall into place as they did. There was this big hole in my heart where my Dad had been… and although I still do not know where my Dad is… his sister and her children filled up this hole so perfectly… it was just what I needed to happen. I am so thankful for my family… the ones who stayed and even the ones who left, and on that day especially the ones who have been returned to my life.

August 2015: A trip to the beach had me meeting my newest cousin Molly who lives in England… and my sweet and like-a-sister first cousin (Ashley- Molly’s mom) and her family. Spending time with them and my Aunt Peggy has always been, throughout my entire life, some of my favorite times… and this was no exception. I also, during that trip got to spend time with one of my closest (also like a sister) friends Carmen. Carmen once again proved that she has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know. She not only accepted my children and I into her home (for the second time in one month) to stay for two nights… she treated us like we were family and went out of her way to do something kind and unforgettable as she has done so many times in my life. She and her sister Candace have “taken care” of me and my kids so many times I can’t even name them all. I have had friendships and still have so many great and special ones… but no one does friendship as well as these twins!! The both have a heart to be admired. I thank God for sending them into my life. They have surely been a blessing so many times. I always wish I could to re-pay them although I know in the way that they are friends to me… it would be impossible to re-pay. I would however, unknowingly during this visit, be very soon put in a position to do something for them… and I am forever thankful for that opportunity to be there for them as they have always been there for me.

August 2015: My second to youngest child, my precious daughter Melody started Kindergarten. I felt like a yo-yo… graduating and beginning kindergarten with my children within months of each other. I was terrified that the uniqueness of Melody would cause her trouble at school. She is special, different and particularly beautiful. I am becoming fully aware that God has made her all of these things for a reason. And I know she has been accepted just as she is and even very specially cared for by some of the other wonderful children in her class and she has made so many new friends. There is nothing like watching children and their acceptance of one another to humble you and remind you that each of us are unique and special and particularly beautiful in our own way… and that we should all care for each other. And I continue to learn from my own children… and their friends.

October 2015: As my photography business began it’s busiest time of the year, I begin to question my career… is it enough? Am I serving God? Tough questions… hard thoughts… contemplation. I prayed for answers. My business is blessed, I am not sure if I am talented or just very strong-willed but I strive to be the best I can be at whatever I am doing…. and my job is no exception. I have seen my work and skill level grow though out the years that I have been doing it. I have seen my skills be sharpened and my job become a blessing to me and my family and other families. This year especially my abilities grew as I slowed things down a bit and concentrated more on each client. My clients have all been a blessing with compliments, loyalty, love and patience. I feel like God sends me the best of the best to work with… but I might be a bit partial ;) Working with editing has become almost like playing music… creating something beautiful for someone. I still questioned my job though… is it enough, am I serving God? My answer would come. During a phone call my Mom said to me “your gift is far reaching” discussing one particular picture that had been given as a gift in a hurting relationship between two people. My eyes filled with tears as I said thank you to my Mother who God so often uses in my life to clear my way of seeing things. I said thank you to her and to God for a better vision of what I am doing and what I can do.

November 2015: This is not my story to tell… I will just say that my sweet friends that I mentioned earlier called me to do pictures of their family and then two weeks later went through what has to be one of the hardest times in their lives. It was a shock and happened very unexpectedly…. but for the small bit of comfort I was able to be a part of, pictures with their loved one… I am forever grateful that I could. God had his hands on every part of this. And He used me to preserve some very precious last days. I love this family and have no doubt the God loves them very deeply as well.

Mid 2015-November 2015: Honestly, my family and I have been off and on in church for years. When we go, we go to MCBC… the most loving place on earth (to me) but I still lacked the understanding of why going to church was important. I wasn’t sure that this is where I was needed or if I should go anywhere at all. My Mom (again a mouth for God) said to me kindly while discussing this “what if everyone thought that way? what if there were no church to go to? what would the world be like then?” and that profound statement/question made me rethink MY questioning. Yes, church is very important and yes, for SURE we are supposed to be going!!! FOR SURE!! You see, this church caught us with open arms when we fell into the community and during times of tragedy. The loved us, cared for us and were there for us during very difficult times. What was I thinking questioning it? I don’t know really… just room to grow I guess…another opportunity for God to reshape me. And that reshaping came in the form of Jamie, Melissa, Terry, Teresa, Syliva x2, Mrs. Anita, Mrs.Eldora…. and so many more people at this church. I have to very specifically thank my mom and Jamie & Melissa…. three people who let the Holy Spirit guide them fully… without you I just don’t know where we would be. So, we are in church…the kids are getting involved… Chris and I have been blessed to be a part of the youth and children music program. And I can honestly say that the people here see and want to help Chris and I use our gifts and abilities as well as they use their own gifts and abilities to glorify God. The blessings are there at every turn we make getting closer to our church family and I thank God for this reintroduction to these blessings. I appreciate it now more than I ever have. We feel needed and wanted and it has renewed a purpose for this place for me… it has always been special but now it is fully treasured and understood.

December 2015: Two impromptu prayer meetings with two very special ladies in my life (Ashley- a true friend and blessing- my sounding board and my fellow dreamer and follower and Myra a Christian influence in many lives who has no idea -I don’t think- what good things she really does for people around her) helped me learn to pray out loud. I have struggled with this but they held and squeezed my hands as my small shaky voice attempted to say out load what was in my heart. I am not sure if I did a good job, but I know that I have made a huge leap… I have always struggled with putting a voice to my inner thoughts in almost any situation. What came out of my mouth at times was what I thought other people wanted to hear, not what was in my heart. Writing is easy… I can write what is in my heart…. but to actually speak it, has been a struggle for me. So, to these two ladies who prayed first and then let me make my attempt… thank you. I needed to start somewhere safe and you both provided that for me. God loves you both and you have been a blessing in my life so many times.

December 2015 to now: I felt lead recently to read Ecclesiastes (the book in the bible) and then to 1 John… and that is where I am now. BUT Ecclesiastes led me to a BIG HUH???? As I saw my own life, filled with questions and saw my own past in Solomon’s struggle to attempt to find the meaning of life, I wondered why this book was in the bible at all. And then I realized that it is a lesson. There have already been people before, way smarter than us that questioned it all… life, church, their jobs, their work, their friends, their children, their marriage, their relationships, the earth… and we all will eventually come to the same conclusion. God is in control and we must submit to Him to find the true happiness He wants us to have… there will be things that are beyond our understanding but we must have faith.

And now 2015 is coming to an end… and I look back on it all as a whole and realize that it is a wonder. What has happened to my heart and my life when compared to this time last year is nothing short of a work of God. You can look at each thing individual and dissect it until you find it was just good… but I can see the journey and I see a miracle. My heart has changed… it is not a physical thing I can hold and show you… and maybe I didn’t even express it in this writing, but it is as real as any physical thing you can hold… or even more so.

God bless you all and I pray that 2016 holds just as many sharp turns and realizations that may lead us closer and closer to Him. Jesus is waiting… he was waiting for me… I thank God my life and heart finally broke enough for me to allow Him in. I feel like I was the most stubborn of us all, and if He can change me… I can just imagine what he will do for you.

Merry Christmas

Love,
Andrea

An honest life

There is an honesty that comes with a terminal illness. The honest truth of a terminal diagnosis strips down to the bones of things.
It strips down to the essentials of life. And from what I can see, a reckoning comes with this kind of closing.
A reckoning where priorities are weighed and the essentials of life for each person are alienated, estranged from the superfluous. And those essential elements are united as a collective output—to live!
 Live like LIFE has never been lived. Live like LIFE itself depends on it.
It becomes a survival to live—and not to live just to survive. I see that there is a difference between the two.
This truth has no room for false footing, nor does it wait for people’s approval. This honesty has no time for people to consider and confer, it only has time to deliver. And what it delivers is a truth so pure that the kingdom of heaven opens, the angels attend to hear, and God, Himself, is so pleased that He calls out and brings the truth home.
“Death is swallowed up in victory, O’ Death where is your victory? O Death where is your sting?” 1 Corinthians 15:55.
I sat down recently with a dear friend of mine from high school who faces the truth of his terminal diagnosis, not only every day but he admits that he faces it second by second, not knowing when it will be his last.
As I listened to him and his courage to live, something became transparent to me—he is living everyday like there is no tomorrow. He is no longer concerned with the foolish things of this world, those things that so easily can consume the precious time that we are given on this earth. He is fixated on giving to his family and to the ones around him the very thing that is the most undervalued element in this world—love. A compassion has welled up inside of him and though he battles some concerns, he is at peace with himself. He is at peace with his diagnosis. And in a world that is ever backstabbing and callous, and ever disruptive, peace is an article of value that is an awesome trade-off! It is a freedom from civil disturbances. It is a universal, complete abandonment of fear.  It is a state of quietness and tranquility that can’t be valued until you experience it, at any cost. Or until it is lost.
This holiday season, my prayers are with those facing a terminal diagnosis. I pray that your  heart is guarded by peace. Peace stands guard. “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7.
My prayers are with family members, friends and anyone who is dealing with a loved one who has a  terminal diagnosis—you are loved and I thank you for teaching us a life lesson with your very lives! I pray that God brings healing, comfort and strength to your mind, body and that your spirit is renewed second by second.
And my love is with my friend and his family, I am blessed for knowing you Shawn. Now let’s enjoy some living!