A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.
For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
The mouth speaks what the heart is full of....
Once I told a friend how sweet I thought her husband was.... he had been very kind to me and I wanted her to know that I noticed and that she was lucky and blessed to have a thoughtful spouse. She laughed and said yes, he is a very sweet person... to everyone but me. I told her that is how it is so often.... the ones you care about the most are the ones who get to see what your heart is really full of.
In a conversation with my 11 year old son last night, I talked about recognizing that all adults will not always be perfect. He was upset over seeing an adult act out in a childish way. It was hard for him to understand that even the people that we are taught to respect the most, are the ones that we often feel are undeserving of that respect. I told him that our reaction to others actions or words, reflect what is in our own hearts ... and that is what we are truly responsible for.
When I was my sons age my father abandoned me. He brought my Mother, sister, brother and I from New Jersey to Butler, Alabama and dropped us and all of our belongings that we could fit in a u-haul off at my Grandparents place that summer with promises of returning before the school year started. I rode with him all of those many, many miles in that u-haul while my Mom and siblings rode in our car behind us. We talked on the way and he told me that he was changing jobs and was going to get a home settled for us and would return to take us to that new beginning with him. I believed him.
By the end of the summer and as the school year came closer to beginning he had not returned and my Mother had no other choice but to get us enrolled in school and continue life with us in this new situation.
Those last few days before school started, I remember looking out the window if I heard a car pull in the driveway to see if maybe it was my Dad coming to get us, it wasn't. I was not angry but I was extremely confused.
I can only guess now what my Dad's heart was full of.
The things I learned that summer were heartbreaking. I had to quickly learn that the people that seemed kind, the people that were supposed to protect me, were not perfect. My life had been pretty perfect up until then. We had a happy family, I thought. We had moments, as all families do, that were not ideal but I trusted and believed that my parents, both of them, would always take care of me.
I still have a hard time understanding why the people we are closest to are the ones that hurt us the most. But I realize and as I told my friend that day about her husband... the people that we are closest to, the people we trust the most and depend on the most just simply have the ability to hurt us the most. And when we let part of ourselves be vulnerable and someone takes that for granted... it shows you what their heart is full of.
I tried to tell my son, who is so much like I was at that age, to prepare his heart to forgive so his heart won't, in return, become full of evil.
My mother and Grandmother taught me that summer that I have to break the cycle. We can't live a good life when we let someone else determine what is in our own hearts and what we pour back into the world for all to see.
It is easy for our hearts to become full of evil when we feel we have been mistreated. It is easy for the abused to become the abuser and blame others for their own words and actions.
I could have harbored evil in my heart after the situation with my Dad, my friend could have responded to her husbands cruel words behind closed doors by being cruel in return and my son could have rebelled against the adult who disappointed him .... but what good would have come from that.
We cannot allow our hearts to become filled with the evil that occurs around us. No matter if it is something we are confronted with daily, we must forgive constantly to be able to keep our hearts filled with good.
Most of us have had instances of an evil heart pouring out evil to us in our lives. I am still constantly surrounded by negative and evil... in the form of words now. Words that strike deep into my heart. Words that might make me feel worthless and unloved had I not already learned a long time ago that I have the ability to forgive and to understand that an evil response to an evil heart only creates more evil. It is a constant struggle to keep on forgiving... to keep on telling myself that these words I hear cannot sink in so deep that I start to lose myself. It is a battle for my heart everyday. So, that is what I tried to tell my friend and my son.
A good man/woman brings good things out of the good stored up in his/her heart.
Do not let anyone cause your heart to store evil. Because your heart will (by your actions or words) eventually speak what your heart is full of and we, by our own choice and the fault of no one other than ourselves, can send good or evil back out into this world.
so..... What is your heart full of?
Love,
Andrea
